She must be a stranger to love.

Recently I highlighted a comment on another blog; the comment concerned me. And, to be honest, it's been bothering me ever since. You see, the comment indicates something about the commenter, and the people who conducted that particular online conversation.

The comment was this:

He said once he wouldn't transition, due to his wife and it would be selfish. I think that is where his deep-rooted hatred for us comes from. So, what he wants to do is be considered a woman, without having to go through any steps to make it so, so he attacks us. He advocates our oppression. Evidence is on his blog.

There was plenty of other inane vitriol, but this one I highlighted. Mostly because it suited my purposes at the time, but also because it differed from the other comments. Those were just silly derogation; this one tells me a lot about the person. I won't bother revealing who the writer is; it's not important. What is interesting is that this excuse has been used against me a few times.

So let's see: I'm married to The Most Wonderful Woman On The Planet. And I decided, a long time ago, that her happiness was the Most Important Thing in my world. It's called "love". I love her. With a passion the writer of that comment and the accolading twits that followed can't quite grasp. And that's the saddest thing about it all.

If you've never experienced love, you can't know it. And that, it appears, is the basis of an entire blog!

The cynicism, the outright stupidity of that "observation" is beyond belief. The person who wrote that must have never experienced love, because if they had - they'd never write such a torpid assertion! I'm not even thinking about the inaccuracy (Hello! Anyone home?!? My blog has had, as part of its tagline "and a man in a dress" for years! (My emphasis)) and downright stupidity that led to such a comment. (You know, I should ask: since when have I advocated for oppression? Last I checked I'm a kinda live-and-let-live and let's all respect each other kind of a guy/chap/fella.) Last I checked, the writer of this missive was the one advocating for discrimination.

Last year I, unwisely, got into a spat that led me to explaining why I won't traverse a course that others have. I was criticized, specifically, for not having a sex change. It's my fucking decision - because it's my fucking life. The people who criticized me then and last May don't live my life. Hell, I don't even know who they are! They are bitter voices on the end of a narrow wire. We all have to live our lives, individually. They clearly are strangers to love. Perhaps their cynicism and anger is too much for even them to take? I don't know; all I know is I am happy with my life. What struck me at the time was just how precious and stupid these people were - they hate it when someone criticizes their life, but they feel more than able to criticize the lives of folk they don't know! We get precious little time on this planet, spending it hating simply because you can is a waste. Spending it hating is just a waste; there's so much more these people could do with their lives. Try and beat down on me - when I don't care about them or their precious arrogance? That's not a waste, that's an exercise in futility and it's begging for critiques such as this. Their lives, their hate, their pathetic waste.

I choose the things I do in my life because I do. I am not about to apologize because my life doesn't meet your approval. I'm not about to change my life because you don't like it, either. So fuck you, ***. I sincerely hope you find happiness.

Carolyn Ann